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They Tell You to Dream of White Dresses

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They Tell You to Dream of White Dresses

Annabelle Vincent

They tell you to dream of white dresses and white fences

they don’t tell you what it feels like to fall asleep heated by his body

and to wake up to the click of the lock

shivering

alone


They tell you to dream of men on horses

they don’t tell you that you might be standing in the kitchen

on a cold afternoon

lost in the sound of your metal spoon stirring honey into hot tea

that you might suddenly decide

this isn’t right

they don’t tell you how his eyes will change

the moment you stare directly into him

telling him that you no longer love him


They tell you to dream of shining armour

they don’t tell you about the look that will cross his face

when he discovers how many others have devoured you

in a pile sweat and muffled moans

countless sheet sets of grey, white, blue

they don’t tell you how sickening it feels

to discover he’s just like

everyone else


They tell you to dream of a breadwinner

someone to take care of you

they don’t tell you about the guilt

you experience

as your body fucks another man

and your brain and heart travel home to your loved one


They tell you to dream of ever afters

they don’t tell you how foreign it is

to wake up next to someone you’ve known for years

and to feel that you don’t know them

at all


They tell you that boys are like streetcars

that there is always another one coming

they don’t tell you

how food no longer has flavour

when heartbreak takes over

they don’t tell you

how it feels

to be numb

alone

because of your own choosing


They tell you that you will break hearts

they don’t tell you

that you will play chess

with their affection

they don't tell you

that you will prove them right.

 

They tell you that two halves make a whole

that you will lie for hours

one hand on your chest

the other on the softness of your centre

trying to make yourself whole

without an other half.